Love shares bread

by Janus Zeitstein:

Last week I was in Styria on a farm with friends. During the night I felt the urge to go for a stroll, almost automatically my steps pulled me deeper into the nearby forest. Actually I didn’t see anything, it was pitch dark. The terrain became more difficult, with each step the darkness grew darker, blacker. But it kept pulling me, like a magnets pole it drew me into the night.

When I finally came to a standstill, I noticed a glowing light that grew brighter from moment to moment. Spellbound by this shine I noticed angelic beings losening from the glow. An apparent deity called me from their midst, to serve her and instructed me to bring joy to people and took my promise to live soberly and to give up all earthly bonds and to use my energy helping to heal sick people with my prayers. I saw the light, the only constant in space and felt a force of joy and love. From this illumination emerged the image of an Indian guru, Babachi, who years ago had left his physical shell of his own will and in whose wake ashrams were founded.

His message to me was clear and unmistakable, I was to fight today’s masters of black magic, especially the doings of the work of the holy angels, which had found a very strong head officer in Father Finister, who is controlling the exorcistic excesses by the Vatican and who has now put a voodoo master at the helm of this organization. The Opus Sanctorum Angelorum is the church’s janitor machine that tries to sweep away troublesome spirits, like a Secret Service whose agents have the task of silencing, if not killing, system critics. A friend who had entered the astral spheres was a special thorn in their side, a modern heretic. Drama and catharsis were looming.

In the forest I became aware that personal guilt, which often makes it difficult to revoke an assertion, often leads to apologizing for something too late, usually only when it is already too late. In many cases, the big plea for forgiveness comes only on the deathbed. Because you always thought and tried to expand your own ideas. ‘The world is created by the devil and evil in itself. Only by renouncing the worldly can you counteract the diabolical powers’. Where did these thoughts come from? It struck me as a dualistic morality from Bulgaria. ‘Today, the omnipotence of the Church is also underpinned by banks and governments, the traditional hierarchy can be filtered out of almost all social associations, pyramids of sanctioneers. The top authority must approve everything, feed it back to the base and then get to action. With this, every popular movement is immediately taken its sting. But are there other options?’

New thoughts poured out of the light: ‘We get lost in everyday life and egomantic meditations. Although we are dealing with the most unimaginable fantasies, there are no utopias to be discussed. The roundabouts in which we stand seem to weather all storms, only feebly shaken by catastrophes. We have been pushed back into our “self”, probably by psychoanalysis, and can hardly find the motivation to change society. The “laissez faire” economy is based on hierarchical structures just as much as political administration and spiritual orders are. The chaos is kept away by all means because it is so unpredictable.’

‘We count on money, our whole life is measured by it. If you go begging in the monk’s cowl you are work-shy or crazy. Your body does not belong to you either, it is only the hull for your mind that comes from the light and goes with it, its light eternal. Beaming from it are the questions that we discover again and again, endless questions, eternal hope. The answer is probably so simple that nobody thinks about it.’

In the dark I understood the patterns of my life, the facets and structures by which it was framed and which I could not dissolve. But smile and joy overcame the pain.

‘We find paradise in love, in it there is meaning. But out of love daughters killed their fathers, sons slept with their mother, the sun is reflected in the moon.’

But does it quench the hunger of the poorest and the thirst of the slaves and pariahs?

Like the cells in a germinating grain, love divides bread. Crowds will bloom to mighty strength and start to question things.

My mind went on a journey and full of yearning I returned to the farm. Would my wishes ever come true or bring even more insatiable cravings? According to our physical perception there are no radio waves and X-rays, nor is the dominion of light waves accessible to us by our senses. And the mind, maybe one day there will be equipment for tracking it down.

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